i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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