you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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