I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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