I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
should my penis look like a turkey
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Randomize
