just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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