I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
