I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
