Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize