Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
