careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
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If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
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I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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