So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
