someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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