babies were throwing up all over the place
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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