so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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