Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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