I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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