Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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