i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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