Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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