fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
