We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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