come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
