Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
