pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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