I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize