Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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