She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
