the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
