btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He has the fingertips of a God
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
