Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
