Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
