I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
