Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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