who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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