the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
