did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize