wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
