Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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