I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
