I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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