Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
babies were throwing up all over the place
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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