I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she looked like the before picture.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
