If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.