i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German