made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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