he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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