Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
