yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
