I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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