my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
