Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
it's like iHOP with fire
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
