it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
