when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
