do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
