You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize