I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
