Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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