i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
