and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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