belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
