i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
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I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
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Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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