The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
